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Opinion Editorial

Every once in a while I have a ’70s flashback and this time around it's about signs. It's not that I don't like signs, it's that I'm not a big fan of “no” signs and “do not” signs. Information and directional signs are great. It's good to know what you are looking at or where you're headed. However, a constant stream of forbidding messages is a drag. The Canadian group, Five Man Electrical Band whose name is now only mentioned at trivia nights, had a 1971 hit song, “Signs” that is still spinning in a few craniums out there.

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign
Blockin' out the scenery, breakin' my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign?

Yep, leave it to the Canukes for cutting-edge social commentary. Just as the styles of that era have made a comeback, so has the proliferation of signage.



One of my goals in life, other than riding in a blimp, is to coin an expression. My original catchphrase du jour is “science of the sinkholes.” It's a companion concept to go along with “God of the gaps.” The premise on “gaps” is that as science expands, religion is forced to claim less as miraculous, retreating to areas of scientific gaps in knowledge. On the flip side, science sinkholes continually expand, revealing more mysteries.

Science mines information but the knowledge hole keeps expanding, exposing ever-increasing layers to explore and explain. One such layer is the current hypothesis that most of the universe (95 percent) is made up of “dark matter” and “dark energy.” Dark matter has a gravitational effect but neither emits nor absorbs light - a big goose egg on the electromagnetic spectrum. It's like all that unlabeled stuff you got in the fridge. Yeah, it's there, but what is it? It was tough enough when I learned that Pluto wasn't really a planet, but this 95 percent mystery-meat thing is even harder to stomach.


In the next year, roughly four million children are projected to arrive on American soil. Nope, these kids aren't immigrants from other countries but will be migrating from their mother's womb. On top of that statistic is another statistic that states that over a quarter of those children will be born into poverty. If one is worried about more people to take care of, closing borders won't solve that problem.

The annual number of U.S. births is meant to give context to the influx of children crossing the southern border into United States. An estimated 60,000 children largely from Guatemala, Honduras and El Salvador, have been intercepted by U.S. border agents during the last 10 months. According to Congresswoman Michele Bachmann from Minnesota, the gravest threat we face is, “Stopping the invasion of illegal foreign nationals into our country."

Xenophobia or fear of foreigners is as old as the Greek language used to describe it. Adding fear of children or pedophobia is a new twist and spawns my invented word xenopedophobia. This isn't about a group who's working days are behind them but people who's productivity is only beginning. The youths who brave the distances and dangers to come to a foreign land are determined, if nothing else. Politicos should be chomping at the bit at the prospect of expanding the tax base.


World events in the last few weeks are disturbing. It's particularly worrisome because so many places such as Ukraine, Iraq, Syria, Libya and Gaza are in conflict at the same time . The article below is a reprint of a few years back, because I can use some levity. Unfortunately, it is still a timely parable.

A viewpoint on an issue such as the Arab-Israeli conflict is often dependent on where the narrative begins. This can be demonstrated by a contemporary parable involving events on a golf course.

This mostly true story begins with a 70-year-old German lady who tried to rearrange a man's face with a golf club on the 13th-hole green. We'll call her Helga (to make her sound menacing) and we'll call him Jimbo (because that's his name.)

Helga is obviously out-of-line, isn't she? Well, maybe not. Moments before the assault, Jimbo cusses her a blue streak with words that are best unrepeated. That is certainly no way to treat a lady. So, advantage Helga - she is the aggrieved one.


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